The light in the dining room was low that night, but we could see several dishes laid out on the table as the hostess bid us sit down. Centipedes thicker than my fingers perched atop the dish in front of me.”Brains,” explained the hostess. She added, apologetically, “I think I left them out a bit too long.”

A bowl of slimy eyeballs was passed around and I soon realized that the appetizers on another tray were encased in a kind of gooey ectoplasm. 

“I think that’s jello,” I assured the person next to me.

After a little more chit-chat, I was convinced that the denizens of Mother Irving had put on another great haunted house. I was ready to smile and be grossed out a little more.

The hostess asked us to stay for the main dish, indicating a cake-sized platter in the middle of the table. I imagined a realistic plastic body part or candy worms wriggling through a potroast. She removed the cover, revealing…

A human head! And it was real–and alive!

“Get out! Get out!” It screamed. “Get out while you can!!”

We shrieked and ran. It was even better than I’d expected.

The email I received had urged attendees to “bring friends, many delicious friends.” Now I could see the reason.

The haunted house also featured a room set up for Japanese tea.  A hunched figure in the corner slowly turned as we passed through, staring in a menacing and corpse-like way, saying nothing intelligible. At another point, we were shown into a kitchen where we were greeted by a knife-wielding skeleton chef looking for people on his “menu.” With the strobe light and “blood” flashing everywhere, he advanced toward us and before I knew it my hand shot out to protect me and push him away. A little sheepish at my own fear, I moved on.

The dining room was the highlight of the Mother Irving haunted house this year, I must say. But really everything in the food-themed adventure was awesome. Well done, Irvingites! You’ve done a foodie proud.

 And readers: Happy Halloween!